The Anti-Bush Haiku Project

OK, this is officially a call for anti-Bush Haikus. I offer, as an example, Julie Garren's inspirational stab at it, as seen on her blog, Lack of Style:

Bush is retarded So vote for Kerry this fall Or I’ll kick your ass

Please submit yours in the comment section!

UPDATE: My boss liked the idea so much that we've launched an international call for submissions over on her site, AnitaRoddick.com. If you submit yours there, you might just get it published in a future book.

Comments

[george]

Bush does indeed suck
Kerry I don't know about
He sucks too you see

[sara]

"Saddam found!" you brag
But George, where oh where are those
WMD's?

Global warming looms,
You gut the Clean Air Act and
A 'Pioneer' laughs.

You preach abstinence
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Cock sucked by Bechtel.

[brooke]

Beat that, entrants! To quote GWB, Bring it ON!

[ANON]

A Georgie Haiku
Certainly must include war
Sad state of affairs.

Cleaning up Dad’s mess,
A country’s blood on my hands,
Pop another beer.

Ten more soldiers die.
Democracy down your throat.
Pump up my war chest.

The world hates my guts,
Is there doubt my daughters drink?
Thank Jesus for Blair.

I’m mad at Kerry.
He’s got a Viet-nam record,
‘wonder what that’s like?

[Carpenter]

Clinton liked interns!
This Bush? Not so picky; he'd
like to fuck us all.

"Mission Accomplished!"
What mission? Duh - it's big biz
for Halliburton.

[A Alexander Stella]

Sooner or later, I'm sure, I'll be found out. The word will be out that I went around via Google to the various anti-Bush weblogs, and much like a busy little bee, deposited a comment in those weblogs that allow for such.

At one particular weblog I visited, the bloggeuse was in despair. Seemingly, indisputable files documenting Dumb'ya's misgovernance grow thicker and even more nauseating daily. Nonetheless, his lead in the polls increases. And so, Brooke, I asked myself a couple questions. What could be going on? What could be the explanation?

Well, here's some of the comment I left. "Nobody cares to admit that their country willfully elevated a nincompoop to head of state. It's sort'a like admitting tha'cher favorite aunt gets her jollies from fellating alligators."

And here's the permissible portion of the comment I left.

"I'd like you to consider reading the text for a "state of the union" address that I believe is imperative for this country of ours. To get to it, all you need do is click on the below enclosed U.R.L

http://www.bcvoice.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=205

By the way, the proprietors of the www.BCVoice.com website have provided a couple ways for you to leave your comments."

[Serephin]

World knowledge is vast
But not that of Georgie D.
His would be half-vast.

[Jerry Burke]

Bush made no mistakes
Except for maybe that tie
Oh, yeah, and Iraq.

[BVCC]

"Have you made mistakes?"
"I can't recall any now."
"Let me remind you."

[roxanne]

Don't you get it, fool?
We all wear the blue dress now.
So, grab your ankles.

[snowball]

Created equal.
That's all people, my dear George
not only your friends.

[Jo]

Self-satisfied, smug,
Arrogant, flippant, entitled,
You are a poop.

[snowball]

People are tortured.
Sure, Iraqis welcome us.
We're setting them free?

[Don Myers]

Wearing my flight suit now
My crotch padded extremely
Mission Accomplished

[Jennifer]

Who, me, do my job?
That's what I hire other people for.
I'm off to the ranch!

[Tamara Thompson]

Coffins? What coffins?
War cannot be sanitized
Here lies deadly proof

[Tamara Thompson]

Cling to the promise
Regime change begins at home
November awaits

[Tamara Thompson]

Kerry is no prize
But no one else can win it
Too much now to risk

[Jo]

After the Commission

They ask such hard questions!
Help, bitter old rich man,
Your sneer protects me.

I say YOU'RE the asshole
Only pin-heads
Care how "Nukular" is said.

Not me. Jesus told me
The free market is the
Hand of God, so there.

[grammar geek]

Haiku is five first
Seven on the second line
And five again here

[sara]

I thought so too ... until last night.
While discussing this little 'contest' with a friend who has an MFA in poetry she explained that many well-respected Haiku translations (from Japanes to English)do not hold to the 5-7-5 form. And, many mondern Hiaku writers in english also do not allow the form to constrain them. (See poet-Laureate Rober Haas' book "Looking Inside Haiku.")
Apparently, the signature aspects of Haiku are that it captures a moment in time, is seasonal or has seasonal references and has some kind of twist or word play at the end.
The things they forget to teach you in high school.

[Chuck Rossie]

WMD or not
Invade we did
Who loves a charade?

[roxanne]

God, when will it end?
Daily news of lies remain
til a Fall Tuesday?

[d]

Once upon a time
we had democracy here.
Now, alas, no more.

[d]

Once upon a time
we had democracy here.
Now, alas, no more.

Bush you stupid fuck
You are very dangerous
You scare me badly

Ignorant or smart?
Or does it really matter?
You are laying waste.